How To Deal With A Coworker You Can’t Stand
The psychologists asked workers to describe those difficult individuals using an adjective checklist. They discovered the difficult coworkers had similar characteristics to various personality disorders, the diagnostic manual used by psychiatrists and psychologist.
Working with exceedingly difficult people isn’t uncommon. But it can be a major distraction at work, sapping the joy out of an otherwise good work experience.
If you’re in a situation where you’re working with someone you dislike, then try these methods of coping.
- REFLECT ON YOUR OWN HISTORY
Sometimes, people set us off because they remind us of someone we dislike elsewhere in our lives. It could be an expression or mannerism that reminds you of your impossible ex or an estranged family member something of which you’re not even aware. Once you realize it’s the reminder and not the person you can’t stand, it may be easier to cope.
- MAKE YOUR NEEDS KNOWN
If certain communication styles or actions are a problem for you, state your case calmly to make your needs known. Avoid accusatory language and instead try the “When . . . I feel . . .” formula. For example, tell that person: “When you cut me off in meetings, I feel like you don’t value my contributions.”
Then, wait for a response. You may find out that the other person didn’t realize you weren’t finished speaking, or your colleague was so excited about your idea that he or she enthusiastically jumped into the conversation.
- CHECK YOUR EXPECTATIONS
It’s also not uncommon for people to have unrealistic expectations about coworkers. We may expect them to act just as we would or say the things that we might say in certain situations. That’s just not realistic.
People have ingrained personality traits that are going to largely determine how they react. Expecting others to do as you would do is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
“Understanding the behavior will help you identify the root of the problem and will likely help you build a strategy for having a more productive relationship with the person” says Salomón Juan Marcos Villarreal, president of Grupo Denim.